Maybe it is my job, or maybe it is just my love of breakfast, but while our family tries to share as many meals as possible together, breakfast just works for me. It is my favorite meal by far, and my kids eat with the least amount of parental prodding, so it is the most relaxing for me as well.
From early on making breakfast has been one of my favorite past times. I have vivid childhood memories of our Sunday brunch, making chorizo and eggs, waffles, or blueberry pancakes. We never really ate breakfast as a family any other time, but those moments I cherish to this day.
I started making pancakes with Drew early on, and eventually Sean joined in the fun. We make waffles, bacon and eggs, cinnamon rolls, breakfast puffs, heck anything that sounds good. I do my best to try and involve my boys rather than doing it the fast way (IE alone), but that doesn't always happen and sometimes I just make it in the quiet of the kitchen with my cup of coffee.
I love the energy of a cooking kitchen in the morning, lunch and dinner has the same amount of energy, but it is rarely fun and often stressful. Even when I bring home pastries, from the Cuban bakery we love, after a long night of work, the vibe of the family breakfast is fulfilling.
This morning my wife stayed in bed battling the flu going around and just me and the kids sat down for toast, eggs and bacon. Obviously sans one parent made things harder, but I really loved having a moment with my kids with everyone in a good mood and a successful meal to start everyone's day. At that moment I felt like a good parent providing more than just food for my kids, but time as a family.
My wife and I subscribe to the belief that daily meals as family is crucially important to a happy home, but also a healthy marriage. 5 years of marriage and 3 very small children later, our morning meal really has made being a father and husband wonderful.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
The Advent Calendar
I wish I woke up with the singular splendor of wanting to open a piece of an advent calendar. My boys are enraptured with the fun of opening the door of our Lego advent calendar. Our morning begins at 6:30 to my boys running our bedroom, proud of sleeping till the proper time and proceed to ask me to get out of bed to open the door of the current day on the advent calendar. Inside is a small trinket, a minifigure, or a small model. nothing extravagant, or over the top. If I am on my parenting "A" game I can usually facilitate peace as one of the boys build the model and the other watches, and if I am real good, they don't fight over playing with it till after I have had a cup of coffee.
I don't know when that goes away.
I knew a guy in college, let's call him George, George never seemed to make plans. George always managed to have plans mind you, but he never committed. After a while I decided Geroge wanted to know what was better out there, so as to not commit in case a better deal came. I think George was an extreme case of what happens as we grow up, but George did what we most of us eventually do, and I think what most of us do to others. We seem to decide that you can't get too up for something, enjoy a sandwich too much, or dinner, or a day at the park. If you seem to have too much enthusiasm it scares people. People become George to some degree.
I try very hard to be a happy person, respond with a positive perspective, and walk with a little joy in my life. But I hear from people after I respond with a resounding "Doing great!", "Woah try a little less coffee in the morning there." As if I there isn't anything to be that happy about. That "child" innocence becomes taboo when you age, and you really don't have to be an adult to have it happen, plenty of kids will start the attitude against happiness long before they pay rent and bills.
I guess Geroge sneaks up on us, a little bit at a time; or maybe it is just consumerism. Right now my son loves to open any toy given to him as a present, regardless of size. At the optometrist's the other day my son was incredible for the doctor, and she was so impressed with his poise she said he could pick two toys from the toy drawer. His face lit up and I don't think he could have been any more elated. It didn't matter that they were small simple toys, he didn't exam the quality or the brand. He just saw new toys he didn't have and they were great; great because he got to play with something new. Play with them he did too, with all his imagination and inventiveness he could. I loved to watch him light up and think of things to do with the ball and car. At some point though we as people will start to say to each other, "Dude, it's just a cheap ball and car, it's nothing to get excited about."
Thankfully we as a society have decided that children should not be subjected to this cruel plight, but kids pick up on it eventually and soon enough another's happiness doesn't matter and it is "okay" to minimize someones simple pleasures.
I think it is just that too, enjoying simple pleasures. Kids have an innate ability to jump whole heartedly into life's opportunities. That is refreshing. I know many friends who move away from Southern California who crave an In N Out Hamburger more than anything upon their return. If you watch them take their first bite, close there eyes and really enjoy that moment of satisfaction they become a kid, up until some sarcastic "older" person says "It's just a burger." It is almost as if we lose the right to really enjoy things, because when someone does I think it makes the rest of us jealous that we don't have the same passion for life's moments that they do, so it's better to bring them back to our status quo.
I don't know when that pizazz for life's individual moments fade, and I really hope I am not the one to put out my children's unabashed zest for simple pleasures...I wish I could stop anyone from taking that away from them.
I don't know when that goes away.
I knew a guy in college, let's call him George, George never seemed to make plans. George always managed to have plans mind you, but he never committed. After a while I decided Geroge wanted to know what was better out there, so as to not commit in case a better deal came. I think George was an extreme case of what happens as we grow up, but George did what we most of us eventually do, and I think what most of us do to others. We seem to decide that you can't get too up for something, enjoy a sandwich too much, or dinner, or a day at the park. If you seem to have too much enthusiasm it scares people. People become George to some degree.
I try very hard to be a happy person, respond with a positive perspective, and walk with a little joy in my life. But I hear from people after I respond with a resounding "Doing great!", "Woah try a little less coffee in the morning there." As if I there isn't anything to be that happy about. That "child" innocence becomes taboo when you age, and you really don't have to be an adult to have it happen, plenty of kids will start the attitude against happiness long before they pay rent and bills.
I guess Geroge sneaks up on us, a little bit at a time; or maybe it is just consumerism. Right now my son loves to open any toy given to him as a present, regardless of size. At the optometrist's the other day my son was incredible for the doctor, and she was so impressed with his poise she said he could pick two toys from the toy drawer. His face lit up and I don't think he could have been any more elated. It didn't matter that they were small simple toys, he didn't exam the quality or the brand. He just saw new toys he didn't have and they were great; great because he got to play with something new. Play with them he did too, with all his imagination and inventiveness he could. I loved to watch him light up and think of things to do with the ball and car. At some point though we as people will start to say to each other, "Dude, it's just a cheap ball and car, it's nothing to get excited about."
Thankfully we as a society have decided that children should not be subjected to this cruel plight, but kids pick up on it eventually and soon enough another's happiness doesn't matter and it is "okay" to minimize someones simple pleasures.
I think it is just that too, enjoying simple pleasures. Kids have an innate ability to jump whole heartedly into life's opportunities. That is refreshing. I know many friends who move away from Southern California who crave an In N Out Hamburger more than anything upon their return. If you watch them take their first bite, close there eyes and really enjoy that moment of satisfaction they become a kid, up until some sarcastic "older" person says "It's just a burger." It is almost as if we lose the right to really enjoy things, because when someone does I think it makes the rest of us jealous that we don't have the same passion for life's moments that they do, so it's better to bring them back to our status quo.
I don't know when that pizazz for life's individual moments fade, and I really hope I am not the one to put out my children's unabashed zest for simple pleasures...I wish I could stop anyone from taking that away from them.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Lego Part 1
Raising kids, whether dealing with the nuance of seeing one's own blood, the quirks over jackets/pants/shorts or rain boots, or even just getting a hair cut dressed as a Spiderman can often baffle, and frustrate me. Occasionally God knows you need something you just "get" from day one with your child, and 3.5 years into my parenting, I was lobbed a soft ball by the Big Guy.
Lego.
I was a Lego nut as a kid, and for whatever reason I got rid of them all, more likely my mom got rid of them when she moved and me the idiot college student didn't grab them before that. But here I am 15-20 years removed from some of my finer building adventures as a kid and my 3.5 year old is jumping head first into construction.
See I never thought he quite got the building gene, he was ambivalent about mega blocks, and Duplo didn't really do it for him either. To be honest building much of anything never really appealed to him. But something happened last Christmas. He was asking Santa for one thing and one thing only each and every day from Santa "I want Star Wars Legos"
I was sorta at a loss, see I love Lego, and I love Star Wars, but my son last Christmas wasn't even 3, could he even build with the blocks...I didn't want to just "impose" my interests on him, I really wanted to resist, but I bought him a small set, mostly because it had 4 storm troopers. The present was a flop for all intensive purposes, but he loved it. See without my help he couldn't build anything, and the mini-figures, while cool could frustrate him immensely because he couldn't put the blaster or any accessory for that matter in the guys hands.
So in order to build the model each time, or play with the guys he had to ask for my help, and I thought this made it a poorly timed gift. Without fail though he would ask me to pull out the Legos and play with him.
We made it clear his 18 month old brother had to be asleep, but we would play Legos together and he would ask for my help to build, and I would teach him to read the directions and put the guys together like he wanted and he would play much the same way I would play as a child. Little voices, dramatic falls, blaster sounds, it was like I was flashing back to my child hood. I know that I very often was too "hard" on him while playing, focusing on building the set, following the directions, but kids have a funny way of blowing off their parents and my son is no exception, he ignores my bad recommendations with ease; thank God.
Looking back almost exactly one year ago, I can honestly say the timing couldn't have been better. The toy while above his age was an activity he loved, but one that required my assistance, and now he is almost four, and can play for ages without me. I love this independence, but I can think of a few times sitting with him, helping build and watch his imagination run knowing I was witnessing a miracle, a spark light a fire. I am blessed to have had that time because as I write this now, his desire to get out the Legos revolves less and less about me sitting with him, and far more about the toy and playing.
I'm glad I didn't just put them up for a year.
Lego.
I was a Lego nut as a kid, and for whatever reason I got rid of them all, more likely my mom got rid of them when she moved and me the idiot college student didn't grab them before that. But here I am 15-20 years removed from some of my finer building adventures as a kid and my 3.5 year old is jumping head first into construction.
See I never thought he quite got the building gene, he was ambivalent about mega blocks, and Duplo didn't really do it for him either. To be honest building much of anything never really appealed to him. But something happened last Christmas. He was asking Santa for one thing and one thing only each and every day from Santa "I want Star Wars Legos"
I was sorta at a loss, see I love Lego, and I love Star Wars, but my son last Christmas wasn't even 3, could he even build with the blocks...I didn't want to just "impose" my interests on him, I really wanted to resist, but I bought him a small set, mostly because it had 4 storm troopers. The present was a flop for all intensive purposes, but he loved it. See without my help he couldn't build anything, and the mini-figures, while cool could frustrate him immensely because he couldn't put the blaster or any accessory for that matter in the guys hands.
So in order to build the model each time, or play with the guys he had to ask for my help, and I thought this made it a poorly timed gift. Without fail though he would ask me to pull out the Legos and play with him.
We made it clear his 18 month old brother had to be asleep, but we would play Legos together and he would ask for my help to build, and I would teach him to read the directions and put the guys together like he wanted and he would play much the same way I would play as a child. Little voices, dramatic falls, blaster sounds, it was like I was flashing back to my child hood. I know that I very often was too "hard" on him while playing, focusing on building the set, following the directions, but kids have a funny way of blowing off their parents and my son is no exception, he ignores my bad recommendations with ease; thank God.
Looking back almost exactly one year ago, I can honestly say the timing couldn't have been better. The toy while above his age was an activity he loved, but one that required my assistance, and now he is almost four, and can play for ages without me. I love this independence, but I can think of a few times sitting with him, helping build and watch his imagination run knowing I was witnessing a miracle, a spark light a fire. I am blessed to have had that time because as I write this now, his desire to get out the Legos revolves less and less about me sitting with him, and far more about the toy and playing.
I'm glad I didn't just put them up for a year.
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