Fathers Day 2012

This is my 3rd year of Father's Day musings.  I'd like to think that in 3 years time, 6 as a father, I could come up with something profound, granted there have been billions of dads before me so what could possibly be said.  Being a dad is only noticed really when you screw up, "Who raised that person?"
And as Bill Cosby so eloquently put, the dad won't even get credit from the kid when they really do something right. (Himself 1983)

Today though it was a wonder for our family, I celebrated Father's Day the way I love to, cooking.  I made a delicious lobsters benedict with asparagus, fresh strawberry's and pineapple and a nice hot cup of Kona coffee.  Every kid wanted to hangout with Nana & Papi, hell they even wanted to sit on our laps while we ate.  Later, as I made a marion berry pie Sean came and asked to help.  I know I have done one thing right, my kids like to be with their family, play with their siblings, and cook with their dad.

These things won't win me any awards, not that anyone becomes a father for awards, but it doesn't draw any attention at all to parenthood.  Recently I was at a game store talking about teaching my children games, I'm a big game boarding fan, and the owner of the store put it perfectly, "You know you have made a good game player if when the game is over your opponent would enjoy playing a game with you again."  I love that quote because it is about more than being a good sport, having fun, being competitive but not nasty, not being a pushover, but not being a bully, it is simply put; teaching someone to be a good person.  I think raising kids has a lot of similarities to that.

Cristina jokes that our kids like to wake up and cuddle with us in bed, a queen-size bed, and she has embraced this because in 10 years she will miss these moments.  I've never been as good at seeing the forest through the parenting trees as her, but I try.  I know I can't let my shorter temper lead me to scaring my kids away from me, and my I am screwing up if the fact that I have less patience forces my kids try and please dad rather than figure out their way on their own.  I know I am screwing up when my kids actions change around me, my greatest fear is being the ogre of a dad that is feared when I come home from work, but I also know I can't be Mom "1.5".  My firmer hand, I think has it's place, and my no-nonsense approach is not always falling on deaf ears.  The problem is, these traits many dad's share aren't as easy to love.

I was in my 20s when I started to really enjoy spending a good amount of time with my dad.  Every Monday for nearly 2 years (before he moved out of state) I went to his house, had a nice dinner, talked, watched TV with him.  I'd like to think that my dad didn't just enjoy hanging out with his son, but he also liked hanging out with Andy.

I don't have that relationship with my mom.  There are lots of reasons for that, but I do know one thing my dad did right, at a very young age he presented the standard he wanted me to strive for as a person.  He knew I was a child and that was not a realistic goal, but he always brought it around to the standards, work ethic, citizenship and being a man.  That standard is the type of people he wanted to be surrounded by, and he thought people should strive for.

I've rambled here, it has been too many months since I wrote, but the thought that keeps coming back into my head is a simple one.  Father's Day is not about Fathers, it is about families wanting to be with their father because their father did his job.