Fathers Day 2012

This is my 3rd year of Father's Day musings.  I'd like to think that in 3 years time, 6 as a father, I could come up with something profound, granted there have been billions of dads before me so what could possibly be said.  Being a dad is only noticed really when you screw up, "Who raised that person?"
And as Bill Cosby so eloquently put, the dad won't even get credit from the kid when they really do something right. (Himself 1983)

Today though it was a wonder for our family, I celebrated Father's Day the way I love to, cooking.  I made a delicious lobsters benedict with asparagus, fresh strawberry's and pineapple and a nice hot cup of Kona coffee.  Every kid wanted to hangout with Nana & Papi, hell they even wanted to sit on our laps while we ate.  Later, as I made a marion berry pie Sean came and asked to help.  I know I have done one thing right, my kids like to be with their family, play with their siblings, and cook with their dad.

These things won't win me any awards, not that anyone becomes a father for awards, but it doesn't draw any attention at all to parenthood.  Recently I was at a game store talking about teaching my children games, I'm a big game boarding fan, and the owner of the store put it perfectly, "You know you have made a good game player if when the game is over your opponent would enjoy playing a game with you again."  I love that quote because it is about more than being a good sport, having fun, being competitive but not nasty, not being a pushover, but not being a bully, it is simply put; teaching someone to be a good person.  I think raising kids has a lot of similarities to that.

Cristina jokes that our kids like to wake up and cuddle with us in bed, a queen-size bed, and she has embraced this because in 10 years she will miss these moments.  I've never been as good at seeing the forest through the parenting trees as her, but I try.  I know I can't let my shorter temper lead me to scaring my kids away from me, and my I am screwing up if the fact that I have less patience forces my kids try and please dad rather than figure out their way on their own.  I know I am screwing up when my kids actions change around me, my greatest fear is being the ogre of a dad that is feared when I come home from work, but I also know I can't be Mom "1.5".  My firmer hand, I think has it's place, and my no-nonsense approach is not always falling on deaf ears.  The problem is, these traits many dad's share aren't as easy to love.

I was in my 20s when I started to really enjoy spending a good amount of time with my dad.  Every Monday for nearly 2 years (before he moved out of state) I went to his house, had a nice dinner, talked, watched TV with him.  I'd like to think that my dad didn't just enjoy hanging out with his son, but he also liked hanging out with Andy.

I don't have that relationship with my mom.  There are lots of reasons for that, but I do know one thing my dad did right, at a very young age he presented the standard he wanted me to strive for as a person.  He knew I was a child and that was not a realistic goal, but he always brought it around to the standards, work ethic, citizenship and being a man.  That standard is the type of people he wanted to be surrounded by, and he thought people should strive for.

I've rambled here, it has been too many months since I wrote, but the thought that keeps coming back into my head is a simple one.  Father's Day is not about Fathers, it is about families wanting to be with their father because their father did his job.

Travel Log Day 17, 18, & 19 - 12/1/2011 thru 12/3/2011

"The boys sing too loud"

Wow, here I am 18 days after I finished my vacation and finally putting the finishing touches on my travel log...

Initially my thoughts for this post were talking about driving well a lot in two days.  While Cristina and I did breakdown and essentially use the DVD parent for the boys for a better part of two days it did go well enough and we survived getting home.

I was so tired in Tempe that I ditched my Triple D stop and opted instead for the local mexican place at the hotel, which note here Embassy Suites rocks with free happy hour drinks.  The theme of this last leg instead of driving and eating (yeah we did that too), was actually wind.  As we were driving into our lunch stop in Fort Stockton, wow that was a small "town" we started getting our news via the social network scene about a wind storm back home.  At first it was a post or two, then ten or so, and then basically everyone talking in Southern California how bad the wind was.

It turns out it was way worse than even we imagined.  We lost 2 very large trees, and my In-Laws next door lost two beautiful oak trees.  As if that wasn't enough power and phones were out.  My first thoughts were relief that everyone was okay and our house was fine, it wouldn't have been if the pine tree fell the other way.  Once I started the long continued drive into El Paso I started thinking about the stocked freezers we had, the logistical nightmare of coming home to no power, anything and everything that is effected by lack of power.  Things kept coming, the pool, stuff in the pool, burning out the filter, it was as if every few minutes a new problem presented it's self.

When we stopped in El Paso the relief of being somewhere WITH power and WITH a laundry facility showed me how nice it was that we were gone.  My wife with that sweet mommy juju I talked about earlier had the foresight to know she should finish laundry so we had all clean clothes at home.

The drive into Tempe the next day was nothing special, or difficult and in all honesty we pulled in fairly early and were able to play in the pool and watch a little of the new Lego Ninjago show on Cartoon Network.  Dinner drinks and the like were great but this stop was merely for sleep.

We were off early in the morning knowing we needed to get home and deal with the mess.  We dealt with some closed businesses trying to leave early but on the whole we were on the road by 6 local time which was 5 home time.  Three hours into the drive, or about half way home we found out power was back, YES!  Things were looking up for us, until we got home.

As if the shock of what we saw wasn't enough, the power went off 30 minutes before we got home.  Things could have gone horribly wrong here, and the homecoming could have become a nightmare, but it didn't.  While we were home some local residents were clearing a path through our streets, we had light, and the kids were ECSTATIC to be home.  There was playing and running and good times visiting Nana and Papi.  While our house was freezing, the cold weather had preserved our freezer and things were still frozen.  Some friends gave us a bunch of dry ice and we were able to give the kids baths at around 3 and fun was being had everywhere.  

Dinner by flashlight was rough, but it worked and we put Eva to bed without incident.  Now for the boys.  I knew somethings needed to be done and wanted desperately to do them, but some advice from my wife sunk in she gave a while back.  Essentially she said that I should take advantage of the night time ritual to allow our kids sweet moments to come out and it can make up for even the roughest day.  So I sat on the couch with the fire going an candles providing a soft glow.  I got out "A Charlie Brown Christmas" which I had never seen and cuddled under the blankets with my wife and boys.

There was something magnificent about being huddled around a small little 8" screen in a cold dark house with my boys and wife watching a charming show.  I was so glad I wasn't worrying about the other things that needed to be done, that even now as I write I can't remember what I thought I had to do.  But that moment in the dark which was scaring my boys I think instead of a memory of being afraid of the dark and dreading what was happening, they instead have a warm family memory, we repurposed this disaster to be a family building moment, and I'm glad I was part of it.

The trip

We drove over 3500 miles with 3 kids under 5, made numerous stops, and created countless memories. I discovered so much about myself as a parent and even learned how to call a great audible at the end of the trip.

I don't know when or if I will ever drive to my Dad's again.  I loved doing it, but was even harder than I thought it would be.  I now have a new view of California and it has been opened up to me and my family.  There is no where in this state I won't drive to now and I can't wait to start the adventure on my next long vacation.  This trip was everything I hoped for;  a challenge, a family builder, fun, a chance for memories and a great opportunity to see family and friends.  On top of all of that I actually blogged about the entire trip which was a challenge I am proud to have met, even if it took me an extra 18 days after the trip was over to complete.  I hoped you all enjoyed reading about my trip as much as I loved being on it and writing about it.