Glass of Water

Dinner with 3 small children can be stressful, and if you intend on eating as a family even more so.  Given our children are complete wild cards if they want to eat, and Eva is more than likely going to want to nurse, or just get bored sitting around; I think I am crazy for even trying a family dinner.  Each time I set out to make a nice dinner I feel like I wasted my time as my wife and I sit around begging for kids to eat, holding/rocking/nursing/bouncing Eva and rushing to eat our own food.

Just the other day, Cristina and I foolishly decided to have an adult conversation as dinner was mercifully coming to an end.  Combined with the stress of the dinner time affair, and the stress of pending work/plans I'm sure my tone and Cristina's tone wasn't the most "friendly."  As Cristina was elaborating on our next days plans, Drew started to scream, which leads to contagious screaming from Sean more often than not.  It took Cristina and I a good 45 seconds to calm the wild ones, and when all was said and done we asked Drew why he started screaming.

Drew replied he didn't like the "yelling", when we pointed out that Cristina was not in fact yelling he stated that "Mama shouldn't be starting a fight and we should be loving".  Cristina and I were struck silent, our tone was far from "loving" to be sure, we weren't fighting with each other, but the subtext of our conversation was not translating what we were saying well.

I told Drew that Mama and Daddy weren't fighting we were just talking about the next day and all we had going on, I gave Cristina a big hug and kiss, and Drew asked that we kiss again, I guess to be sure it was all behind us.

Engaged encounter talks about "deciding to love" and what a wonderful example our son gave my wife and I.  Even in a conversation about our days plans we can decide to love.

Life over a cool glass of water, for dinner a dream dinners Surf and Turf Pin Wheels, french bread and a Trader Joe's veggie bag.

Dodger Pride (A Short Story)

As I have written about in other posts, going to Dodger games is a family tradition for us.  A few nights ago we took the boys to a "action figure night."  Which means they turn one of the outfielders into an action figure.  My kids adore all things heroic and to get a baseball player and an action figure in one, well that is one step short of "ohmygoshmyheadisgoingtoexplode" great for them.

Sean with his "super heroes"

"I have to go potty." Drew said with a little urgency in his voice.  This used to be the cue for; run like hell he is about to pee.  Drew is now as a very capably 3 1/2 year old, so it generally means, lets get moving, but you don't have to run.  I got up, picked up Drew and put him over a the row behind us, seat etiquette is big for us can't walk down the row mid-inning, and started the walk to the bathroom.

Once we got to the top of the steps Drew turned and reached his arms up (the universal parent please pick me up motion.)  I picked up Drew and he looked at me and with a twinge of excitement said "Let's run Daddy"  So I hunched over a bit and started the old school potty sprint to the bathroom.

We got into the bathroom and what is wonderful about the gorgeous Chavez Ravine is the fact that it has troughs for the men's urinals.  I usually avoid the trough and take Drew to the single urinal, as my son has no issues touching all things in the rest room and I have a bit more control with the single urinal.  But today he couldn't help but have to try the giant stainless steel trough.

Drew did great and once again had a successful potty experience, and since I was there I decided now was as good a time as any to go as well.  Once I finished I picked Drew back up, and with a look of pure sweetness Drew looked me in the eye and said "Daddy you did a great job with the potty, I am so proud of you"

Final Score Dodgers 2 - Mets 0 and one proud 3 year old

My Morning Cup #3

My wife and I awoke on Friday to our fifth year of marriage.  The morning of my wedding I woke up early and met my dad for breakfast, and got a shave.  I came back to my apartment and made some food for my buddies who were in town for the wedding.  

Five years later I awoke to my oldest son walking into our room and waking us up, he of course requested his usual "mini wheats" but my wife and I along with my younger son shared a lovely breakfast of eggs, toast and sausage, along with a nice hot cup of coffee.  

The night before our wedding my wife and I had a wonderful rehearsal of our "First Dance" we put on our first song "I've got the world on a string" sung by Frank Sinatra and came up with some basic moves to  cruise through the 2:15 song.

As I turned off the lights in our home as I was getting ready for bed the night before our anniversary, I stopped and decided, I should go put "I've got the world on a string" on our iPod in the kitchen so we could listen to it while we ate.  As I sat down, grabbed the iPod and pulled up the song, I decided I should really make a playlist for breakfast.  

I started with the easy first dance, but then it occurred to me I should make a playlist of the last 5 years.

Mrs. Robinson - Simon & Garfunkel

My wife is a whopping 7 years older than me, and a joke from just about the beggining is my wife is "Mrs. Robinson."  Age for us has never been an issue or even come up, we joke about our age differences and ultimately I think the difference in our years of life has given us a wonderful perspective with our friends all being at different stages of life.

Your Song - Elton John (Live Red Piano Concert)

I woke up Cristina one morning to two tickets to Las Vegas to see Elton John in concert.  We stayed at the Paris, had a nice dinner at the Grand Lux, and went to see "The Red Piano."

Time to Say Goodbye - Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli

After the concert, I convinced Cristina to go for a walk in the cold.  I stopped in front of the Bellaggio Fountains and got down on one knee.  This song is actually a revisionist history, I had hoped this would be playing, but much more appropriately was Dick Van Dyke "Singin' in the Rain" as I proposed.

I've Got the World on a Sting - Frank Sinatra

Right as we walked into our reception, we started the night off with our first dance, and the rest of the reception just flew by us, to date EASILY the quickest reception I have ever been to, and I have never had a better time at a wedding.

Walking out for our first dance

Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffett

We honeymooned in Fiji, and took our iPod with us.  On our second stop of our honeymoon we listened to this CD more times than I can count.  I immediately relax when I hear this song, it takes me straight back to the island.

Our Honeymoon

Scenes From An Italian Restaurant - Billy Joel

Another CD Cristina introduced me to, we listned to this song all through our dating, and still do.  A few years ago we went to a show where all Billy Joel songs were used for essentially a Rock Ballet, Movin' Out.  A fun memory we shared with great friends.

Total Eclipse Of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler

About a year and half into our marriage we went with some friends to Catalina.  One night on the island, my pregnant wife and I sang an incredible rendition of this classic tune.  To date this is easily in my top 10 of greatest dates ever with my wife.

Come Out Ye Black & Tans - The Wolfe Tones

For our one year anniversary, Cristina and I went to Ireland.  We visited my mom, drove through the country, and for our one year anniversary went to the oldest licensed whiskey distillery in the world.  We visited my wife's old family grave and watched the world cup final in a beautiful little village in the north.  A lesson we learned on that trip is parades and other countries traditions does not mean you want to be there.  On July 12th the English with the help of the protestants in the country scored a major victory over the Irish people.  This would be the equivalent to the 4th of July here, only in the north about half the people hate this holiday, and in the south it is not even recognized.  My wife and I were in Belfast looking for B&B, but a lot of people leave during "Marching Season."  Through out the city in the protestant sections are giant wooden towers people intend on lighting on fire the day of the marching.  It was a very uncomfortable time to be in the north, we ended up changing our trip around and heading back to the south before we had to watch these wood towers go up in flames.

Our First Anniversary

Another Day - Rent (Original Broadway Cast)
As a teen I really enjoyed this show, and while Cristina and I were dating she bought tickets for us to see this on one of my birthdays, it was her first time seeing the show.  Within a very short time we ended up seeing La Boheme, the Baz Larman version, the show Rent was based off of.  This song was a no brainer for the CD, iTunes shows my lovely wife has listened to it nearly 50 times, no other Rent song even has 20 listens.

I Am...I Said - Neil Diamond
Early in our marriage we went with some friends to a Neil Diamond Tribute Concert at the Hollywood bowl.  This is still easily one of the best shows we have ever seen at the bowl.

Super Trouper - Abba
That same show turned out to have an Abba tribute band as the main  act.   Our friend's husband and I were looking around the bowl, and all the straight men must have left after Super Diamond, because all we saw were woman and gay men going nuts for a bunch of songs I have never heard, save for Dancing Queen.

Do You Hear The People Sing - Les Miserables (Original Broadway Cast)
As a newly married couple with duel income and no kids this is yet another show we saw.  A blast for us.  Years later though with 2 kids and a reduced income, and not much free time, we Netflixed the concert DVD and sat with nice cups of coffee and "went" to this show again.

Suddenly Seymour - Little Shop of Horrors (Broadway Cast Recording)
A theme you will notice, pre-children we went and got rushes to this show.  My wife actually went again with her sister and their kids she loved it so much.  Two Christmases ago, we had just purchased our mini-van and decided it would be fun to drive around and look at Christmas lights as we drank hot chocolate.  Drew sat in the back an awe of the lights in Hastings Ranch, Sean was quite a bit younger, but I don't think he fell asleep, and as we played with Cristina's new XM satellite radio we got to listen to the complete show of Little Shop, a fun way to "see a new show" for us.

Girls on Film - Duran Duran
We were just married and not yet pregnant with our first when some friends invited us to see Duran Duran at Staples Center.  The night was a blast as we partied in a luxury suite.  Our friends we saw so many of the above shows had canceled, she was having a baby, and they gave us the fancy suite tickets.  Our friend either went into labor that night or soon after.  After the show, someone in our suite had a little too much fun at the concert, and I tried as hard to convince her to walk, so the Staples staff wouldn't call an ambulance on her (she was a little drunk).

Don't Stop Believin' - Glee Cast Version
For the last two seasons the Dodgers blare Journey's hit over the sound system, and we have had season tickets for 4 years now.  We have gone to countless games, and Drew now loves this song.  When Glee did a version of this my wife had to buy it and played it endlessly.  I remember one day Drew and I with Cristina running through the house singing at the top of our lungs DON'T STOP BELIEVING.

They Live in You - The Lion King (Original Broadway Cast)
We love musical theater as you can tell, and wanting to really share this with our kids, this past spring we took Drew to his first one. We planned for a matinee and asked one of our dearest friends who loves the show to come with us.  It was a hit and currently DJ Cristina is asked to put this on in the car everyday.

Drew's First Show

Ants Marching - Dave Matthews Band
This song is also Dave's end of the concert song, and it seemed fitting to make it the last song of the playlist.  For Cristina's birthday one year we went to this concert, the only full on outdoor stadium concert we have been to.

As I finished this CD the night before our anniversary I looked over the songs and realized, man we really love musical theater, but also realized how our lives have changed, but we have adapted to keep "seeing" shows even with very young children.

The morning of our anniversary we sat down for breakfast and when the kids were done, we were going to pause the CD and just finish later.  I decided we were having too much fun, I went into the living room and turned on the Netflix instant watch for the kids.  Cristina and I reminisced about the last 5 years over a nice cup of coffee and a fun soundtrack to inspire conversation.

Life of a cup of coffee, Black (Trader Joe's Organic Fair Trade Sumatra)

Firestone Double Barrel Ale

Tonight was a treat, we took the kids to a Dodger game which was also a kids toy give-away game. We were fortunate to be able to let our baby daughter sleep at Nana's house while we took the two older boys. This all sounds far more "perfect" than it was. But as with most things in life I can hope for the perfect event, but it likely won't go according to plan.

My kids were on my last nerve today, and tried as I might I likely fell into the burden of parenting 20% category today. I couldn't win, and didn't have the patience to really effectively facilitate my boys playing, or even getting the playroom clean. I was done long before we were supposed to be in a car for Dodger Stadium. I even made the cardinal sin of threatening something I wasn't going to do, I told Drew if he didn't shape up he was staying home with me and Sean would go and get his toy with Mommy. It is a reasonable request, but as Cristina pointed out we never went out and got tickets so that we wouldn't go to the games as a family, we got them for us to be together.  To this day some of my fondest memories of time with my siblings were going to Lakers and Kings games with my dad.

We came up with a good consequence we could follow through with, no toy at the game if you don't act appropriately, and even that was moot, he was asleep within a good 30 seconds into the car ride and a total pleasure to be with at the game.

As we sat at the game, the boys with their new toys, and I with a great firestone beer and a pretzel; my wife and I had a brief moment between innings. I joked, I'm going to write about how regardless of my attempts at being a good dad sometimes my kids are just going to be brats. My wife, far more eloquently put it this way, we gave our kids something tonight, family time at the game. Years from now these memories will be carried with all of us.

Drew with his toys

Going to the game is about a lot more than just hot dogs and action figures, it is our family doing something together, being a family and relaxing. In the end I would have let the "brat" moment trump a future wonderful memory if I would have stayed home, put Drew to bed and watched TV. I may have made a point to him in the future about "temper-tantrums," but would I really? I mean stopping a 3 year old from having a rough day and crying and throwing a fit for no reason is like trying to teach a dog to stop eating food off the floor, who are you kidding you can't "reason" with 3 year old. I would have lost twice today, a bad day and a bummer of a night, the memory of the game wouldn't exist, and I'd be bitter right now.

 In some ways I feel like I have to justify my parenting, "I'm not placating temper-tantrums by giving in." But ultimately I don't think that issue was raised at all, Drew had a bad day he didn't "want" anything, and Sean, well I think Sean sees Drew throw a fit and he likes to see how mad he can make Drew because Sean thinks it is funny.

My wife and I have constantly striven to create a family that doesn't just wait for life to happen, we go out and get it, we go places, see friends, and host parties.  We are definitely doers, but when all is said in done I never want to look back on any aspect of parenting, or marriage and say, man I wish we would have done "that" as a family.

In the end I think the family won one tonight...as did the Dodgers 3-2 over the Cubs.

Life over a cup of Firestone Double Barrel Ale

My Morning Cup #2

My morning started as almost all my mornings do.  Me groggy, going to the kitchen for breakfast.  Drew heard me as I was getting the coffee ready and asked for breakfast.  I poured him a bowl of Mini-Wheats and he asked me to sit next to him.

Normally I just continue with whatever I am doing in the kitchen and chat with him while he eats, but today I sat down and ate my cereal next to Drew.  Cristina was getting ready to take our youngest to school and my baby and Sean were still asleep.  I had a quiet morning cup of coffee and cereal with Drew.  We talked about his dreams from the night before, "I dreamed about the Six," which is what his clock has to say in order to get out of bed, the fun day he had yesterday in the pool, and his desire to play games.  All in all this was not an extra ordinary conversation, or breakfast for that matter, but I found it to be all the more reason it was special.  I've reflected on not "sluffing off" when my kids reach out to me in my last post, and this last morning I saw this as a chance.  I could have easily said no, finished dishes, or read some internet article, but I sat and had a conversation with my son.

Normally after breakfast it is usually "Sesame Street" time, but we spent the rest of my morning home doing what he loves, books and games.  I let him pick out a board games and I picked one.  We went into the play room and "played" our games.  He was so curious, and into our time together, it reminded me of advice I was given and have since given, "Kids don't want things, they just want you."  After 25 minutes of Robo Rally and Blokus I picked up "Danny and the Dinosaur" and read to him on the couch.

Drew loves picking new games to play

I didn't do anything special this morning, I didn't clean as much as I hoped I could, but the feeling I took with me to work was simply perfect, and a memory I'll hold.  I don't know how long Drew or Sean or even Eva will really want to hang out with me like that, but I do know I'll always want those opportunities when they are gone, and I should take them now.

I felt great this morning, I didn't use my parent crutch of the TV and zombie-ize my kid to get things done, and though my kitchen looks worse for it (as you can see in my title picture), I'm sure my kids will ignore me soon enough after breakfast and I'll have a better opportunity to clean my kitchen.

Life of a cup of coffee, Black (Trader Joe's Organic Fair Trade Sumatra)

Ice Blended Dark Chocolate

My wife and I sat in the car yesterday, and all three kids fell asleep.  This is a rare treat for us, as we usually end up playing driving DJ with Lion King or Aladdin on the 1s and 2s.  Yesterday we timed things well though and the kids fell asleep and we could talk (a nice treat).

We stopped at the local Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and shared a new frozen coffee beverage.  As we talked  reviewing our little son being two, we talked about being home with our kids, the effort we have to exert, the tiredness, but ultimately our blessings.

At one point I pondered about parenthood, most times I would describe parenting as a blessing, and still others I would say it feels like a burden.  My wife and I agreed there are times that we both feel really connected with our kids.  Just the other day I got to listen with squeals of delight coming from the dining room as my wife and the boys sat and colored, and worked on activity books.  To hear my family is such delight as I worked in the kitchen was awesome.

  

Drew working on tracing his name, and Sean coloring.

Without fail, the sounds of screaming and yelling, shrieking and crying will permeate through the house as the boys fight and the baby makes her presence known.  There are days I just want to sit and vegetate in front of some screen...being a parent is something that feels like too tall an order.  A few times my son has asked me to play a game, or do a puzzle, or play baseball.  Looking back now I really regret sluffing him off and doing little to nothing memorable with that time, instead of classic memories now, I have a feeling of guilt for not better taking advantage of that brief moment of a child reaching out to a parent.  I feel like a train sometimes, and the thought of building up the energy to truly engage my kids can seem monumental, I know if I get going it will be easy to keep going, getting those wheels moving is harder than it seems sometimes.

Every parent needs a recharge, energy to play, time to themselves, and ultimately this concept of burden or blessing is something I think I will always feel.  I pray, and my wife and I laughed and said, it is probably 75% blessing 25% burden.  Optimistically I threw out 80% 20%, joking I'd like to think that I can be a "good parent" 4 out of 5 opportunities.

We continued driving, having a moment together, and built up the energy (a little help from caffeine) to really engage our kids when we arrived at our destination.

Life over an Ice Blended Dark Chocolate Coffee from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf

Look at my last post HERE

Fat Tire

Summer is well into full swing, the order of the day is to stay in the pool and keep the air conditioning off.

So, about a week ago my wife and I hosted a party for our Godson.  It was really special for me, as I have never been a Godparent before.  This has been something I have been really hoping to do for some time and to have the opportunity to be able to focus on the spiritual growth of a person is extraordinary.

When the baptism was complete everyone headed to my home and drank homemade lemonade, ate great food and visited.  Within about an hour the lemonade was gone, and I took to my favorite beer, Fat Tire Amber ale.  At or about this same time I decided it was time for the pool.  The kids all jumped in the pool, my kids played mostly on the steps and I began having a "life" moment.  I was sitting with old family friends, people who changed my diapers, people who knew me long before I remembered being, these people sat and shared this wonderful day with our family.

This felt sort of like when just today I realized, it is July, I mean the year just started and it is July.

Talking to my friends it dawned on me, these are my friends, at one point they likely wiped my nose and carried me, I had a great adventures with their kids, and even rented a room from them.  It was almost as if I blinked and it was "July".

Life started moving at warp speed three and a half years ago when my first son was born.  I discovered that kids don't just demand your energy, they commandeer your time.  I plan 6+ months in advance to see people, 5 years ago that would have been a laughable thought for me to do.  If I don't plan on seeing some people that far off, I'm not sure when I would see them.

I sat really taking my time with my beer, really enjoying it, soaking in the event I was sharing with my new "friends."  Writing this now I now realize in no time it is going to be "July" and I will be sitting with my children's friends and they will be seeing me as an Andrew...not Mister.

Being in the moment does that though, when you are busy and regularly going places and doing things it is remarkable how quickly life speeds up.  You can't really slow it down either, at least I haven't figured out how.  My job change a few years ago dramatically shifted my days off routine, and I began noticing myself saying "Yes! I still have two more days off" and now I say "Man...I only have two more days off"

I want more than anything now, to have as much time with life as I can get.

Life over a Bottle of Fat Tire Amber Ale