Parental Scale

My wife and I just went away for the weekend.  She had a work conference near Disneyland and we got a nice hotel room in close proximity of the magic kingdom.  We have been going together now for years and it has always been a wonderful trip.

Before we had kids we'd sneak away for great dates and a nice time out with some mutual friends.  After we had our first I'd stay back while Cristina went to her conference.  Even with the addition of another child we would make it year after year.  Last year after our third had been born once again we went, my wife with the infant in tow.

This year I flew solo with all three while my wife went and enjoyed some wonderful conferences; and this year it was a challenge.  At home all three kids is not nearly as trying.  We have multiple rooms, safe areas I can let them play alone, all sorts of toys, shows, activities and "baby free" areas for my boys to play.  But away from home we have limited space, toys, and resources with which to keep the kids occupied.  The weather this year was abysmal, so my fail safe last year of hanging by the pool was a no go.  So like a ship without a rudder, I attempted to wing it.  On Friday we played at Disney, but the crowds deterred me and I went back to the hotel.  Saturday, my grand plan of the pool was crushed with frigid temps and I lacked the ability to effectively call an audible.  So the laws of scaling difficulty came into play.  Slowly my crying daughter ate away at my patience, and when I finally got her asleep, my boys who were not giving me any sort of legitimate problems began to wrangle my last nerve.

Just like that I was losing it with them.  I had the patience for a crying kid for a long while, and when I endured that "test" a newer far simpler test presented itself, but my parental endurance was exhausted.  As my family has scaled in size, unfortunately not everything has scaled for me.  I am not 3 times more patient, and I don't have 3 times the energy.  Fortunately for my wife and I the rules of scale have benefited us as well.  Our kids do entertain themselves, and food prep isn't any more difficult, though feeding 3 kids who need constant attention is a chore unto it's self.  Ultimately I always thought that I could ignore whining and crying and it wouldn't rile my nerves, but I never planned on how little sleep I would get (or the poor quality of sleep), and how that truly effects my ability to effectively parent.  I also never planned on three kids waring on my nerves at the same time. I am going to need help when my kids coordinate their moves and don't have happy/unhappy accidental Dad overload moments, but rather a meltdown of their planning.