Family Breakfast

Maybe it is my job, or maybe it is just my love of breakfast, but while our family tries to share as many meals as possible together, breakfast just works for me.  It is my favorite meal by far, and my kids eat with the least amount of parental prodding, so it is the most relaxing for me as well.

From early on making breakfast has been one of my favorite past times.  I have vivid childhood memories of our Sunday brunch, making chorizo and eggs, waffles, or blueberry pancakes.  We never really ate breakfast as a family any other time, but those moments I cherish to this day.

 I started making pancakes with Drew early on, and eventually Sean joined in the fun.  We make waffles, bacon and eggs, cinnamon rolls, breakfast puffs, heck anything that sounds good.  I do my best to try and involve my boys rather than doing it the fast way (IE alone), but that doesn't always happen and sometimes I just make it in the quiet of the kitchen with my cup of coffee.

I love the energy of a cooking kitchen in the morning, lunch and dinner has the same amount of energy, but it is rarely fun and often stressful.  Even when I bring home pastries, from the Cuban bakery we love, after a long night of work, the vibe of the family breakfast is fulfilling.

This morning my wife stayed in bed battling the flu going around and just me and the kids sat down for toast, eggs and bacon.  Obviously sans one parent made things harder, but I really loved having a moment with my kids with everyone in a good mood and a successful meal to start everyone's day.  At that moment I felt like a good parent providing more than just food for my kids, but time as a family.

My wife and I subscribe to the belief that daily meals as family is crucially important to a happy home, but also a healthy marriage.  5 years of marriage and 3 very small children later, our morning meal really has made being a father and husband wonderful.

The Advent Calendar

I wish I woke up with the singular splendor of wanting to open a piece of an advent calendar.  My boys are enraptured with the fun of opening the door of our Lego advent calendar.  Our morning begins at 6:30 to my boys running our bedroom, proud of sleeping till the proper time and proceed to ask me to get out of bed to open the door of the current day on the advent calendar.  Inside is a small trinket, a minifigure, or a small model.  nothing extravagant, or over the top.  If I am on my parenting "A" game I can usually facilitate peace as one of the boys build the model and the other watches, and if I am real good, they don't fight over playing with it till after I have had a cup of coffee.

I don't know when that goes away.

I knew a guy in college, let's call him George, George never seemed to make plans.  George always managed to have plans mind you, but he never committed.  After a while I decided Geroge wanted to know what was better out there, so as to not commit in case a better deal came.  I think George was an extreme case of what happens as we grow up, but George did what we most of us eventually do, and I think what most of us do to others.  We seem to decide that you can't get too up for something, enjoy a sandwich too much, or dinner, or a day at the park.  If you seem to have too much enthusiasm it scares people.  People become George to some degree.

I try very hard to be a happy person, respond with a positive perspective, and walk with a little joy in my life.  But I hear from people after I respond with a resounding "Doing great!", "Woah try a little less coffee in the morning there."  As if I there isn't anything to be that happy about.  That "child" innocence becomes taboo when you age, and you really don't have to be an adult to have it happen, plenty of kids will start the attitude against happiness long before they pay rent and bills.

I guess Geroge sneaks up on us, a little bit at a time; or maybe it is just consumerism.  Right now my son loves to open any toy given to him as a present, regardless of size.  At the optometrist's the other day my son was incredible for the doctor, and she was so impressed with his poise she said he could pick two toys from the toy drawer.  His face lit up and I don't think he could have been any more elated.  It didn't matter that they were small simple toys, he didn't exam the quality or the brand.  He just saw new toys he didn't have and they were great; great because he got to play with something new.  Play with them he did too, with all his imagination and inventiveness he could.  I loved to watch him light up and think of things to do with the ball and car.  At some point though we as people will start to say to each other, "Dude, it's just a cheap ball and car, it's nothing to get excited about."

Thankfully we as a society have decided that children should not be subjected to this cruel plight, but kids pick up on it eventually and soon enough another's happiness doesn't matter and it is "okay" to minimize someones simple pleasures.

I think it is just that too, enjoying simple pleasures.  Kids have an innate ability to jump whole heartedly into life's opportunities.  That is refreshing.  I know many friends who move away from Southern California who crave an In N Out Hamburger more than anything upon their return.  If you watch them take their first bite, close there eyes and really enjoy that moment of satisfaction they become a kid, up until some sarcastic "older" person says "It's just a burger."  It is almost as if we lose the right to really enjoy things, because when someone does I think it makes the rest of us jealous that we don't have the same passion for life's moments that they do, so it's better to bring them back to our status quo.

I don't know when that pizazz for life's individual moments fade, and I really hope I am not the one to put out my children's unabashed zest for simple pleasures...I wish I could stop anyone from taking that away from them.

Lego Part 1

Raising kids, whether dealing with the nuance of seeing one's own blood, the quirks over jackets/pants/shorts or rain boots, or even just getting a hair cut dressed as a Spiderman can often baffle, and frustrate me.  Occasionally God knows you need something you just "get" from day one with your child, and 3.5 years into my parenting, I was lobbed a soft ball by the Big Guy.

Lego.

I was a Lego nut as a kid, and for whatever reason I got rid of them all, more likely my mom got rid of them when she moved and me the idiot college student didn't grab them before that.  But here I am 15-20 years removed from some of my finer building adventures as a kid and my 3.5 year old is jumping head first into construction.

See I never thought he quite got the building gene, he was ambivalent about mega blocks, and Duplo didn't really do it for him either.  To be honest building much of anything never really appealed to him.  But something happened last Christmas.  He was asking Santa for one thing and one thing only each and every day from Santa "I want Star Wars Legos"

I was sorta at a loss, see I love Lego, and I love Star Wars, but my son last Christmas wasn't even 3, could he even build with the blocks...I didn't want to just "impose" my interests on him, I really wanted to resist, but I bought him a small set, mostly because it had 4 storm troopers.  The present was a flop for all intensive purposes, but he loved it.  See without my help he couldn't build anything, and the mini-figures, while cool could frustrate him immensely because he couldn't put the blaster or any accessory for that matter in the guys hands.

So in order to build the model each time, or play with the guys he had to ask for my help, and I thought this made it a poorly timed gift.  Without fail though he would ask me to pull out the Legos and play with him.

We made it clear his 18 month old brother had to be asleep, but we would play Legos together and he would ask for my help to build, and I would teach him to read the directions and put the guys together like he wanted and he would play much the same way I would play as a child.  Little voices, dramatic falls, blaster sounds, it was like I was flashing back to my child hood.  I know that I very often was too "hard" on him while playing, focusing on building the set, following the directions, but kids have a funny way of blowing off their parents and my son is no exception, he ignores my bad recommendations with ease; thank God.

Looking back almost exactly one year ago, I can honestly say the timing couldn't have been better.  The toy while above his age was an activity he loved, but one that required my assistance, and now he is almost four, and can play for ages without me.  I love this independence, but I can think of a few times sitting with him, helping build and watch his imagination run knowing I was witnessing a miracle, a spark light a fire.  I am blessed to have had that time because as I write this now, his desire to get out the Legos revolves less and less about me sitting with him, and far more about the toy and playing.

 I'm glad I didn't just put them up for a year.

Glass of Water

Dinner with 3 small children can be stressful, and if you intend on eating as a family even more so.  Given our children are complete wild cards if they want to eat, and Eva is more than likely going to want to nurse, or just get bored sitting around; I think I am crazy for even trying a family dinner.  Each time I set out to make a nice dinner I feel like I wasted my time as my wife and I sit around begging for kids to eat, holding/rocking/nursing/bouncing Eva and rushing to eat our own food.

Just the other day, Cristina and I foolishly decided to have an adult conversation as dinner was mercifully coming to an end.  Combined with the stress of the dinner time affair, and the stress of pending work/plans I'm sure my tone and Cristina's tone wasn't the most "friendly."  As Cristina was elaborating on our next days plans, Drew started to scream, which leads to contagious screaming from Sean more often than not.  It took Cristina and I a good 45 seconds to calm the wild ones, and when all was said and done we asked Drew why he started screaming.

Drew replied he didn't like the "yelling", when we pointed out that Cristina was not in fact yelling he stated that "Mama shouldn't be starting a fight and we should be loving".  Cristina and I were struck silent, our tone was far from "loving" to be sure, we weren't fighting with each other, but the subtext of our conversation was not translating what we were saying well.

I told Drew that Mama and Daddy weren't fighting we were just talking about the next day and all we had going on, I gave Cristina a big hug and kiss, and Drew asked that we kiss again, I guess to be sure it was all behind us.

Engaged encounter talks about "deciding to love" and what a wonderful example our son gave my wife and I.  Even in a conversation about our days plans we can decide to love.

Life over a cool glass of water, for dinner a dream dinners Surf and Turf Pin Wheels, french bread and a Trader Joe's veggie bag.

Dodger Pride (A Short Story)

As I have written about in other posts, going to Dodger games is a family tradition for us.  A few nights ago we took the boys to a "action figure night."  Which means they turn one of the outfielders into an action figure.  My kids adore all things heroic and to get a baseball player and an action figure in one, well that is one step short of "ohmygoshmyheadisgoingtoexplode" great for them.

Sean with his "super heroes"

"I have to go potty." Drew said with a little urgency in his voice.  This used to be the cue for; run like hell he is about to pee.  Drew is now as a very capably 3 1/2 year old, so it generally means, lets get moving, but you don't have to run.  I got up, picked up Drew and put him over a the row behind us, seat etiquette is big for us can't walk down the row mid-inning, and started the walk to the bathroom.

Once we got to the top of the steps Drew turned and reached his arms up (the universal parent please pick me up motion.)  I picked up Drew and he looked at me and with a twinge of excitement said "Let's run Daddy"  So I hunched over a bit and started the old school potty sprint to the bathroom.

We got into the bathroom and what is wonderful about the gorgeous Chavez Ravine is the fact that it has troughs for the men's urinals.  I usually avoid the trough and take Drew to the single urinal, as my son has no issues touching all things in the rest room and I have a bit more control with the single urinal.  But today he couldn't help but have to try the giant stainless steel trough.

Drew did great and once again had a successful potty experience, and since I was there I decided now was as good a time as any to go as well.  Once I finished I picked Drew back up, and with a look of pure sweetness Drew looked me in the eye and said "Daddy you did a great job with the potty, I am so proud of you"

Final Score Dodgers 2 - Mets 0 and one proud 3 year old

My Morning Cup #3

My wife and I awoke on Friday to our fifth year of marriage.  The morning of my wedding I woke up early and met my dad for breakfast, and got a shave.  I came back to my apartment and made some food for my buddies who were in town for the wedding.  

Five years later I awoke to my oldest son walking into our room and waking us up, he of course requested his usual "mini wheats" but my wife and I along with my younger son shared a lovely breakfast of eggs, toast and sausage, along with a nice hot cup of coffee.  

The night before our wedding my wife and I had a wonderful rehearsal of our "First Dance" we put on our first song "I've got the world on a string" sung by Frank Sinatra and came up with some basic moves to  cruise through the 2:15 song.

As I turned off the lights in our home as I was getting ready for bed the night before our anniversary, I stopped and decided, I should go put "I've got the world on a string" on our iPod in the kitchen so we could listen to it while we ate.  As I sat down, grabbed the iPod and pulled up the song, I decided I should really make a playlist for breakfast.  

I started with the easy first dance, but then it occurred to me I should make a playlist of the last 5 years.

Mrs. Robinson - Simon & Garfunkel

My wife is a whopping 7 years older than me, and a joke from just about the beggining is my wife is "Mrs. Robinson."  Age for us has never been an issue or even come up, we joke about our age differences and ultimately I think the difference in our years of life has given us a wonderful perspective with our friends all being at different stages of life.

Your Song - Elton John (Live Red Piano Concert)

I woke up Cristina one morning to two tickets to Las Vegas to see Elton John in concert.  We stayed at the Paris, had a nice dinner at the Grand Lux, and went to see "The Red Piano."

Time to Say Goodbye - Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli

After the concert, I convinced Cristina to go for a walk in the cold.  I stopped in front of the Bellaggio Fountains and got down on one knee.  This song is actually a revisionist history, I had hoped this would be playing, but much more appropriately was Dick Van Dyke "Singin' in the Rain" as I proposed.

I've Got the World on a Sting - Frank Sinatra

Right as we walked into our reception, we started the night off with our first dance, and the rest of the reception just flew by us, to date EASILY the quickest reception I have ever been to, and I have never had a better time at a wedding.

Walking out for our first dance

Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffett

We honeymooned in Fiji, and took our iPod with us.  On our second stop of our honeymoon we listened to this CD more times than I can count.  I immediately relax when I hear this song, it takes me straight back to the island.

Our Honeymoon

Scenes From An Italian Restaurant - Billy Joel

Another CD Cristina introduced me to, we listned to this song all through our dating, and still do.  A few years ago we went to a show where all Billy Joel songs were used for essentially a Rock Ballet, Movin' Out.  A fun memory we shared with great friends.

Total Eclipse Of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler

About a year and half into our marriage we went with some friends to Catalina.  One night on the island, my pregnant wife and I sang an incredible rendition of this classic tune.  To date this is easily in my top 10 of greatest dates ever with my wife.

Come Out Ye Black & Tans - The Wolfe Tones

For our one year anniversary, Cristina and I went to Ireland.  We visited my mom, drove through the country, and for our one year anniversary went to the oldest licensed whiskey distillery in the world.  We visited my wife's old family grave and watched the world cup final in a beautiful little village in the north.  A lesson we learned on that trip is parades and other countries traditions does not mean you want to be there.  On July 12th the English with the help of the protestants in the country scored a major victory over the Irish people.  This would be the equivalent to the 4th of July here, only in the north about half the people hate this holiday, and in the south it is not even recognized.  My wife and I were in Belfast looking for B&B, but a lot of people leave during "Marching Season."  Through out the city in the protestant sections are giant wooden towers people intend on lighting on fire the day of the marching.  It was a very uncomfortable time to be in the north, we ended up changing our trip around and heading back to the south before we had to watch these wood towers go up in flames.

Our First Anniversary

Another Day - Rent (Original Broadway Cast)
As a teen I really enjoyed this show, and while Cristina and I were dating she bought tickets for us to see this on one of my birthdays, it was her first time seeing the show.  Within a very short time we ended up seeing La Boheme, the Baz Larman version, the show Rent was based off of.  This song was a no brainer for the CD, iTunes shows my lovely wife has listened to it nearly 50 times, no other Rent song even has 20 listens.

I Am...I Said - Neil Diamond
Early in our marriage we went with some friends to a Neil Diamond Tribute Concert at the Hollywood bowl.  This is still easily one of the best shows we have ever seen at the bowl.

Super Trouper - Abba
That same show turned out to have an Abba tribute band as the main  act.   Our friend's husband and I were looking around the bowl, and all the straight men must have left after Super Diamond, because all we saw were woman and gay men going nuts for a bunch of songs I have never heard, save for Dancing Queen.

Do You Hear The People Sing - Les Miserables (Original Broadway Cast)
As a newly married couple with duel income and no kids this is yet another show we saw.  A blast for us.  Years later though with 2 kids and a reduced income, and not much free time, we Netflixed the concert DVD and sat with nice cups of coffee and "went" to this show again.

Suddenly Seymour - Little Shop of Horrors (Broadway Cast Recording)
A theme you will notice, pre-children we went and got rushes to this show.  My wife actually went again with her sister and their kids she loved it so much.  Two Christmases ago, we had just purchased our mini-van and decided it would be fun to drive around and look at Christmas lights as we drank hot chocolate.  Drew sat in the back an awe of the lights in Hastings Ranch, Sean was quite a bit younger, but I don't think he fell asleep, and as we played with Cristina's new XM satellite radio we got to listen to the complete show of Little Shop, a fun way to "see a new show" for us.

Girls on Film - Duran Duran
We were just married and not yet pregnant with our first when some friends invited us to see Duran Duran at Staples Center.  The night was a blast as we partied in a luxury suite.  Our friends we saw so many of the above shows had canceled, she was having a baby, and they gave us the fancy suite tickets.  Our friend either went into labor that night or soon after.  After the show, someone in our suite had a little too much fun at the concert, and I tried as hard to convince her to walk, so the Staples staff wouldn't call an ambulance on her (she was a little drunk).

Don't Stop Believin' - Glee Cast Version
For the last two seasons the Dodgers blare Journey's hit over the sound system, and we have had season tickets for 4 years now.  We have gone to countless games, and Drew now loves this song.  When Glee did a version of this my wife had to buy it and played it endlessly.  I remember one day Drew and I with Cristina running through the house singing at the top of our lungs DON'T STOP BELIEVING.

They Live in You - The Lion King (Original Broadway Cast)
We love musical theater as you can tell, and wanting to really share this with our kids, this past spring we took Drew to his first one. We planned for a matinee and asked one of our dearest friends who loves the show to come with us.  It was a hit and currently DJ Cristina is asked to put this on in the car everyday.

Drew's First Show

Ants Marching - Dave Matthews Band
This song is also Dave's end of the concert song, and it seemed fitting to make it the last song of the playlist.  For Cristina's birthday one year we went to this concert, the only full on outdoor stadium concert we have been to.

As I finished this CD the night before our anniversary I looked over the songs and realized, man we really love musical theater, but also realized how our lives have changed, but we have adapted to keep "seeing" shows even with very young children.

The morning of our anniversary we sat down for breakfast and when the kids were done, we were going to pause the CD and just finish later.  I decided we were having too much fun, I went into the living room and turned on the Netflix instant watch for the kids.  Cristina and I reminisced about the last 5 years over a nice cup of coffee and a fun soundtrack to inspire conversation.

Life of a cup of coffee, Black (Trader Joe's Organic Fair Trade Sumatra)

Firestone Double Barrel Ale

Tonight was a treat, we took the kids to a Dodger game which was also a kids toy give-away game. We were fortunate to be able to let our baby daughter sleep at Nana's house while we took the two older boys. This all sounds far more "perfect" than it was. But as with most things in life I can hope for the perfect event, but it likely won't go according to plan.

My kids were on my last nerve today, and tried as I might I likely fell into the burden of parenting 20% category today. I couldn't win, and didn't have the patience to really effectively facilitate my boys playing, or even getting the playroom clean. I was done long before we were supposed to be in a car for Dodger Stadium. I even made the cardinal sin of threatening something I wasn't going to do, I told Drew if he didn't shape up he was staying home with me and Sean would go and get his toy with Mommy. It is a reasonable request, but as Cristina pointed out we never went out and got tickets so that we wouldn't go to the games as a family, we got them for us to be together.  To this day some of my fondest memories of time with my siblings were going to Lakers and Kings games with my dad.

We came up with a good consequence we could follow through with, no toy at the game if you don't act appropriately, and even that was moot, he was asleep within a good 30 seconds into the car ride and a total pleasure to be with at the game.

As we sat at the game, the boys with their new toys, and I with a great firestone beer and a pretzel; my wife and I had a brief moment between innings. I joked, I'm going to write about how regardless of my attempts at being a good dad sometimes my kids are just going to be brats. My wife, far more eloquently put it this way, we gave our kids something tonight, family time at the game. Years from now these memories will be carried with all of us.

Drew with his toys

Going to the game is about a lot more than just hot dogs and action figures, it is our family doing something together, being a family and relaxing. In the end I would have let the "brat" moment trump a future wonderful memory if I would have stayed home, put Drew to bed and watched TV. I may have made a point to him in the future about "temper-tantrums," but would I really? I mean stopping a 3 year old from having a rough day and crying and throwing a fit for no reason is like trying to teach a dog to stop eating food off the floor, who are you kidding you can't "reason" with 3 year old. I would have lost twice today, a bad day and a bummer of a night, the memory of the game wouldn't exist, and I'd be bitter right now.

 In some ways I feel like I have to justify my parenting, "I'm not placating temper-tantrums by giving in." But ultimately I don't think that issue was raised at all, Drew had a bad day he didn't "want" anything, and Sean, well I think Sean sees Drew throw a fit and he likes to see how mad he can make Drew because Sean thinks it is funny.

My wife and I have constantly striven to create a family that doesn't just wait for life to happen, we go out and get it, we go places, see friends, and host parties.  We are definitely doers, but when all is said in done I never want to look back on any aspect of parenting, or marriage and say, man I wish we would have done "that" as a family.

In the end I think the family won one tonight...as did the Dodgers 3-2 over the Cubs.

Life over a cup of Firestone Double Barrel Ale

My Morning Cup #2

My morning started as almost all my mornings do.  Me groggy, going to the kitchen for breakfast.  Drew heard me as I was getting the coffee ready and asked for breakfast.  I poured him a bowl of Mini-Wheats and he asked me to sit next to him.

Normally I just continue with whatever I am doing in the kitchen and chat with him while he eats, but today I sat down and ate my cereal next to Drew.  Cristina was getting ready to take our youngest to school and my baby and Sean were still asleep.  I had a quiet morning cup of coffee and cereal with Drew.  We talked about his dreams from the night before, "I dreamed about the Six," which is what his clock has to say in order to get out of bed, the fun day he had yesterday in the pool, and his desire to play games.  All in all this was not an extra ordinary conversation, or breakfast for that matter, but I found it to be all the more reason it was special.  I've reflected on not "sluffing off" when my kids reach out to me in my last post, and this last morning I saw this as a chance.  I could have easily said no, finished dishes, or read some internet article, but I sat and had a conversation with my son.

Normally after breakfast it is usually "Sesame Street" time, but we spent the rest of my morning home doing what he loves, books and games.  I let him pick out a board games and I picked one.  We went into the play room and "played" our games.  He was so curious, and into our time together, it reminded me of advice I was given and have since given, "Kids don't want things, they just want you."  After 25 minutes of Robo Rally and Blokus I picked up "Danny and the Dinosaur" and read to him on the couch.

Drew loves picking new games to play

I didn't do anything special this morning, I didn't clean as much as I hoped I could, but the feeling I took with me to work was simply perfect, and a memory I'll hold.  I don't know how long Drew or Sean or even Eva will really want to hang out with me like that, but I do know I'll always want those opportunities when they are gone, and I should take them now.

I felt great this morning, I didn't use my parent crutch of the TV and zombie-ize my kid to get things done, and though my kitchen looks worse for it (as you can see in my title picture), I'm sure my kids will ignore me soon enough after breakfast and I'll have a better opportunity to clean my kitchen.

Life of a cup of coffee, Black (Trader Joe's Organic Fair Trade Sumatra)

Ice Blended Dark Chocolate

My wife and I sat in the car yesterday, and all three kids fell asleep.  This is a rare treat for us, as we usually end up playing driving DJ with Lion King or Aladdin on the 1s and 2s.  Yesterday we timed things well though and the kids fell asleep and we could talk (a nice treat).

We stopped at the local Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and shared a new frozen coffee beverage.  As we talked  reviewing our little son being two, we talked about being home with our kids, the effort we have to exert, the tiredness, but ultimately our blessings.

At one point I pondered about parenthood, most times I would describe parenting as a blessing, and still others I would say it feels like a burden.  My wife and I agreed there are times that we both feel really connected with our kids.  Just the other day I got to listen with squeals of delight coming from the dining room as my wife and the boys sat and colored, and worked on activity books.  To hear my family is such delight as I worked in the kitchen was awesome.

  

Drew working on tracing his name, and Sean coloring.

Without fail, the sounds of screaming and yelling, shrieking and crying will permeate through the house as the boys fight and the baby makes her presence known.  There are days I just want to sit and vegetate in front of some screen...being a parent is something that feels like too tall an order.  A few times my son has asked me to play a game, or do a puzzle, or play baseball.  Looking back now I really regret sluffing him off and doing little to nothing memorable with that time, instead of classic memories now, I have a feeling of guilt for not better taking advantage of that brief moment of a child reaching out to a parent.  I feel like a train sometimes, and the thought of building up the energy to truly engage my kids can seem monumental, I know if I get going it will be easy to keep going, getting those wheels moving is harder than it seems sometimes.

Every parent needs a recharge, energy to play, time to themselves, and ultimately this concept of burden or blessing is something I think I will always feel.  I pray, and my wife and I laughed and said, it is probably 75% blessing 25% burden.  Optimistically I threw out 80% 20%, joking I'd like to think that I can be a "good parent" 4 out of 5 opportunities.

We continued driving, having a moment together, and built up the energy (a little help from caffeine) to really engage our kids when we arrived at our destination.

Life over an Ice Blended Dark Chocolate Coffee from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf

Look at my last post HERE

Fat Tire

Summer is well into full swing, the order of the day is to stay in the pool and keep the air conditioning off.

So, about a week ago my wife and I hosted a party for our Godson.  It was really special for me, as I have never been a Godparent before.  This has been something I have been really hoping to do for some time and to have the opportunity to be able to focus on the spiritual growth of a person is extraordinary.

When the baptism was complete everyone headed to my home and drank homemade lemonade, ate great food and visited.  Within about an hour the lemonade was gone, and I took to my favorite beer, Fat Tire Amber ale.  At or about this same time I decided it was time for the pool.  The kids all jumped in the pool, my kids played mostly on the steps and I began having a "life" moment.  I was sitting with old family friends, people who changed my diapers, people who knew me long before I remembered being, these people sat and shared this wonderful day with our family.

This felt sort of like when just today I realized, it is July, I mean the year just started and it is July.

Talking to my friends it dawned on me, these are my friends, at one point they likely wiped my nose and carried me, I had a great adventures with their kids, and even rented a room from them.  It was almost as if I blinked and it was "July".

Life started moving at warp speed three and a half years ago when my first son was born.  I discovered that kids don't just demand your energy, they commandeer your time.  I plan 6+ months in advance to see people, 5 years ago that would have been a laughable thought for me to do.  If I don't plan on seeing some people that far off, I'm not sure when I would see them.

I sat really taking my time with my beer, really enjoying it, soaking in the event I was sharing with my new "friends."  Writing this now I now realize in no time it is going to be "July" and I will be sitting with my children's friends and they will be seeing me as an Andrew...not Mister.

Being in the moment does that though, when you are busy and regularly going places and doing things it is remarkable how quickly life speeds up.  You can't really slow it down either, at least I haven't figured out how.  My job change a few years ago dramatically shifted my days off routine, and I began noticing myself saying "Yes! I still have two more days off" and now I say "Man...I only have two more days off"

I want more than anything now, to have as much time with life as I can get.

Life over a Bottle of Fat Tire Amber Ale

Sangria

My wife and I have made a concerted effort to stay "dating" while we are married.  Our children on the other hand, do all they can to make this impossible.  So the other day we decided we were over due for a date.  

When we first got married the concept of a weekly date was not only a blast, but easy.  Heck I think we likely managed to get at least two or three dates a week depending on our finances.  Being able to continue dating my wife was not a challenge to fit into our lifestyle.  Close to five years later, and three children later, finances play a large part in limiting our dating life, but the kids play a bigger role.  As a family, my wife and I do a fine job going out and really engaging in wonderful family time.  Within the last year though our weekly date, turned into a bi-weekly date, into a monthly date, and I'm sure we even had a few that were a "when was our last date?"

What was so wonderful about this last date was the theme, we sat at a wonderful little Tapas Bar, and shared all our food over a cool glass of sangria.  The entire "miniature" feast was a perfect way to connect, as everything on the table is meant to be shared.  a small plate of peppers, a small plate of ceviche, a cool bowl of gazpacho, slices of flat bread with spanish sausage, croquettes, and empanadas.  What was so wonderful was just a single plate of each of these things and you share it all.  As we sat enjoying the warm summer night with our cool drinks and wonderful tapas, we enjoyed just being together.  We talked about everything, and took time to focus on "us" rather than all the chaos that our life can feel like at times.  

As we connected our conversation turned to thoughts about "staying connected with others."  I sat thinking about how odd it can be that you can see someone a lot and slowly grow apart, or rarely see someone and stay as close as ever.   What occurs to make this happen?  Is it apathy, just life changes and stages, or is it something else.  Almost without exception this occurs in all relationships I found, family, friends, and even parent to child.  "Dates" aren't feasible with everyone I realize, and a regularly scheduled date even less so, but I think the concept of a "date" could benefit a lot of relationships.

It almost seems as if with all our ways to connect, with Facebook, email, and text messages, we have lost connecting, and just check-in.  I'm living here, doing this, working there, busy with x, y, or z.   All these updates come in "status update" size amounts.  (The irony is I will advertise this post on Facebook)

In fairness the effort of staying connected can be Herculean at times, and lives fill up with more friends it seems, and not less.  In the end it goes back to the weekly, bi-weekly, monthly dates my wife and I get.  Ultimately even when too much time goes by the quality of such connections we hope goes up, in order to sustain us until the next date.  And with friends and family, perhaps the content and quality of limited connections can necessitate improvement in order to stay connected.  I know I am definitely guilty of going through the motions with all my relationships at times.  Lives with all these relationships move and and change quickly.  Before you know it the path you used to be near a friend on has turned into each of you walking in very different directions, and it just isn't feasible to stay connected.  Perhaps your respective paths are still close, and you didn't realize it because it had been so long since you last connected you just assumed connection was not possible.  Finally it could be as simple as someone is hurting, and connecting with anyone is an extraordinary challenge.

We finished sharing our food, and walked around Old Town Pasadena, we got a cup of coffee, picked up some clothes at a store, and held hands.  Our dates today revolve more around our thoughts about family, faith and our marriage, and insuring we are staying on the same path together.

Life over a cool glass of Sangria at Bar Celona in Pasadena, California

A Short Story - Fathers Day 2010

Drew April 1st 2007

"When you get married, you never realize how much you will talk about poop and pooping."

Heather looked at me as if I was crazy, and quickly glanced at Chris her boyfriend (she would later marry him.)   I wasn't being clear I realized, and had to save some face before they thought my wife and I had become some kinky internet fad marriage.

"Not each others poop, no no no.  I mean you talk about your kids poop a lot."  The looks on their faces had not changed enough to imply I had saved face.  Nope, they think my wife and I are freaks...

I start over again, this time with the story first.   It went something like this...

Changing diapers is sort of like an adventure with a new baby, or a box of See's candies without any good chocolates.  The best part about a first child is that you can ask for a tag team even if one is not necessitated.  Inevitably if you call a tag team enough you will need it, and on a warm early spring afternoon my wife and I went to change Drew's diaper.  We had all our brand new baby things, wipes, a fancy changing table that doubled as a pack-n-play.  Showing off my diaper changing prowess, I undid the onesie, put the fresh diaper under the old diaper and got the wipes ready.

With Drew, speed was the main order of business when it came to diaper changes.  If you moved too slow the warm air, or cold air, or the I have no idea what air made him pee, and pee every where including himself he did.  So if you are going to change this kid's diaper you better be all set.  My wife would undo the diaper I would grab his ankles life him up and start wiping, with my wife in all set to start wiping as I went for another wipe.  If it was a bad diaper you'd better be set to have five wipes ready to go without pausing or there would be pee everywhere.

Three wipes down, just about clean, and when you are a new parent you use way too many wipes anyways here comes wipe four.  I reach down for the wipe, still holding his ankles up in the air, moving in for maybe the last wipe when there was a poo explosion.  I didn't say event, or even a toot, not a little mess, no I said explosion, and that was just it, an explosion.  I guess me holding Drew's legs in the air, causing him to crunch his tummy, or maybe it was just "perfect" timing.  As I stood there, moving in to finish cleaning Drew, he shot poop clear across the room.  I deftly dropped Drew's butt on the changing pad and my wife and I jumped out of the way like a dodge ball was flying by us.  There was poop on the wall 5 feet away, the carpet, the super great changing pad, the new diaper, our clean wipes, his shirt, his clothes.  Everything was covered in poop.

So I grabbed a clean diaper, pre-prepped five or so wipes, because when you change Drew, you gotta be quick...

Viura

As I arrived home for work, my day ended, I was tired, a little hungry, but mostly excited about a night of sports on the couch.

I have watched so many Lakers finals  over the years.  Some of my most fun memories are easily from watching Laker games.  I remember in 2000, I was up at a church summer camp, Fr. Mike brought a small little 10 inch black and white tv and we watched a static filled game and saw Kobe and Shaq bring the first title to LA.  Years later, a young adult, in my apartment with friends beer, video games and a good time.  Our apartment was a mess, but the game was great, a true vision of a bachelor enjoying basketball.  

Here I am 10 years from me being a young man, a counselor for a youth camp that meant so much to me, sitting with my wife having a nice glass of vino.  The fact that I was drinking wine actually says a lot.  As I was driving home I remembered I didn't have any beer, I figured I could stop at Ralphs and buy a six pack, after all Game 7 of a Basketball finals with a few bottles of Fat Tire sounded like a good time.  But I knew my kids were dying to see me and I was dying to see them.

When I got home, drew was in the kitchen listening to Lion King.  His new favorite CD.  Sean was playing in the play room, and they both gave me big hugs.  I sat on the couch and smiled, while I held Sean in my arms and the Lakers played.  Sean would yell "Go POW, Go POW, Go POW!"  Drew cheered for Kobe, Cristina rested on the love seat and Eva in her papasan.  I had to laugh inside, what a great "Daddy moment."  Ten years ago I watched a championship game in the hills of Santa Barbara on a 7" or 10" black and white TV, years later I watched the Lakers in the finals lose to the Pistons with empty beer bottles and pizza boxes with a healthy dose of Xbox.

Today, a mere 10 years later, I ate a blue cheese meat loaf with garlic mash, fresh squash and zucchini from my garden, and a nice glass of wine, talk about metamorphosis.  All the while, each memory of watching those games was ideal in my mind.

My garden take

As the NBA ads said this year, "this is where amazing happens."  That just seems on point, I am constantly amazed at where life leads you, the gifts I have been given, but more over how seamless the transition is. The ways I have changed as a person in that time seem huge in hindsight, but almost a perfect shift when I look closely at it.  From a camp counselor, to a college student, to a college graduate, to meeting my wife, getting married, and having kids.  All the while feeling great about each shift, but unable to predict when or where the next shift takes me.  

I wonder where life will be the next time I watch the Lakers win the championship.

Life over a glass of Viura (Condesa De Sarabella 2009 from Spain)

  

Pinot Grigio

At some point I became a dad.

Outside of the literal moment in time I became a dad, that was the "you became a biological dad," but I don't believe that a dad is a blood bond alone, or required.  No, being a dad is a lot more than that.  But tonight the wife and I were sitting, watching TV, drinking a glass of vino, and I realized, wait a second, "I'm a dad..."

I know, I know, it took me having a third kid to realize I am a dad.

This is all a bit more complicated, as you can imagine.  Over the next few days leading up to Father's Day I will share a few "Daddy" Moments.

See, I mean, I've had more than a few "Daddy" moments, but with Sean now about 2, things are sorta starting to repeat themselves, and to be honest it is rather creepy.

About 5 years ago I got married, and when my wife and I were newlyweds we would sit on the couch and drink a glass, or a bottle of wine and enjoy the evening.  We had Drew about a year and a half after our wedding, and it took a good 6 months to sit back down and have a glass of wine with my wife,  this was of course "interrupted" by my wife and I repeating that whole pregnant thing.  This time, it took 6 months for that night with a glass of wine again, and well again, this time about 6 months went by, a third baby in 3 years descended upon our home.  Come to think of it, maybe this wine on the couch...I digress.

Here we are, a third, and in all likelihood final kid is born, and we aren't waiting 6 months for the wine, it happened after 3 months.  This revelation alone is not what solidified my realization about fatherhood.

While driving home, I talked with my brother about our kids, and started talking about my boy Sean who is about 2.  He is a talker, but I'll be damned if I can understand him sometimes, and it has been like this for a while.  At first I started thinking he may have a speech delay, but soon it was apparent that I was unfairly comparing him to his very articulate brother.  Just the other week Sean really started hitting a groove with his talking, and yesterday it smacked me in the head with how articulate he had become.

"Daddeee! I want water!"

Me being a lazy dad sitting at the computer "Go ask mama"

"No Daddeee.  You get it"

I mean not only was he talking in 4 and 5 word sentences, he was calling his old man out, and he isn't even two yet.  That moment smacked me in the face with; "Oh man, I'm a dad."

Life over a glass of Pinot Grigio (2008 Gaetano D'Aquino Italian) And we did finish the bottle.

Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice

I sat down for breakfast with my family and my In-Laws.  My wife and I thought it would be fun to take them out for their 50th wedding anniversary.  Breakfast out with my kids is an adventure unto it's self, but they took us up on the invitation.

We sat down at a nice big round table, the restaurant was full of young families and grand-parents, a very fun scene.  Even with the dull roar of children in all corners of the room we still managed to have a nice conversation and time together.

Anytime you sit with a couple who have shared 50 years of marriage together, I figure you should take the opportunity to ask about marriage in general.  Outside of a few jokes here and there, when it was all broken down it was almost "simple."  My mother-in-law put it, I think rather perfect, and I paraphrase, marriage is all about how you react in the hard times.

It doesn't really get more apt than that.  Being married when it is fun, silly, whimsical, relaxing and engaging isn't hard.  I hear things like, marriage is "work", I don't agree, marriage isn't work, marriage is an opportunity every day to choose to do the thing that will strengthen the marriage, and sometimes that "thing" is not what you want to do.

When you are in a fun time of marriage or a silly time, or a relaxed time, and choosing to do what will strengthen your marriage is spend 10 more minutes laughing as a family, or keep walking with your wife, then marriage is easy.  When what your marriage really needs is you to wake up with your screaming kid and you are both exhausted, or when a spouse loses a job, or quits a great one and you need to bite your tongue when they look for support and you want to scream about responsibility, marriage is challenging.  Your opportunity to strengthen your marriage isn't always so dramatic, it can be as simple as choosing to fix a broken light, or take out the trash, or get the coffee ready, instead of 10 more minutes on Facebook or watching TV.

When Emilia mentioned the hard times though, she was honest, she mentioned that she thought most marriages ended over money problems, and they have been lucky enough to avoid money worries for 50 years.  But my In-Laws have had far more than their fair share of tragedy and tough times; so lacking money problems is only fair.  The tough times though are that way because in the dead of winter, it can be hard to remember what spring is like, and when it is so dark out you can hardly see your hand, and you are lost, thinking about the sunrise is not easy.  When marriage, or any relationship for that matter, is in a truly dark time remembering that the sun will rise is key, it won't stay dark forever.

I often wonder what it must have been like that Good Friday after Christ died.  To go home, your best friend, savior, messiah, dead on a cross.  Do you eat dinner?  I know you cry, but maybe you don't, maybe you are so numb you can't do anything, and yet the sun rises the next day and reality hits you, this is real, He's gone. You likely spend another day morning the loss, and probably don't eat much again.  You try to sleep , and again you don't sleep, so in the early morning you walk to the tomb, and as the sun rises...

I'm lucky, at almost 5 years of marriage, or 1/10th my In-laws, I can't really think of any time I sat down thinking, man this is so dark, hard and impossible to deal with when is the sun going to rise, but what better lesson in marriage than that.  After 5 years, I have still not felt cold or alone, so when that time comes, I know that I have been fortunate enough to experience a glorious spring time of marriage, and that the winter won't last forever.

Life over a cup of fresh squeezed orange juice.

My Morning Cup

As I was driving with my morning cup this morning, traffic was light and I was cruising at 70 while listening to the radio.  I tried as I normally do to call family, but didn't have any luck.  Things were going like any typical day, and then I slammed on my brakes.

I guess my 70 wasn't fast enough today.  A gold Nissan Sentra decided to weave into my lane, and the low and behold I was doing 70 and not faster since the car in front was going 70 as well and there wasn't much room.  This event alone is nothing new.  I drive on the freeway a lot, and people are in a hurry.  I get cut off almost daily, and without fail I see a car going 95-100 during peak traffic time.  Today though, it sorta clicked.

I start slowly in the morning, not because I'm slow waking up, but because I refuse to hurry if I can at all avoid it.  I wake up, and almost regardless of time I eat a relaxed breakfast.  I drink my cup or two of coffee slowly, I shower without being in a hurry, I do shave fast, but I hate to shave.  When I get in my car I should probably rush, cause if I hit bad traffic it could be a problem.  But I need my day to wind up slow.

Some days feel like a marathon, and you don't start a marathon with a sprint.  So I build up, but all this got me thinking this morning.  "Man, people rush."

This can't be a freeway thing, or a city thing, it is like this everywhere.

I was at school with my son, and sure enough as I was walking out to the car two boys in the upper school went sprinting out to the end of the sidewalk.  This was not a casual race, this was a sprint, to the end of the sidewalk...And one boy won. I guess. Then they walked to their car with their mom.  When I was a kid I did this all the time, I'd race to the car, race to the front door, to my room, race eating dinner, eating desert.  But I lived in a competitive house.  Seeing these two boys at my kids school was the start, but I saw it everywhere.  Come to think of it they make expressions for this "Hurry up...and wait"  All day you see people accelerate from red light to red light.   The entertainment business is built on this concept, hurry up and then wait for light, a star, weather, anything really.

I don't get it.

Okay, I understand it, I see the reasoning behind it, but definitely not the logic.  In the end, it seems to me like ultimately we have all lost in this rush.  I think when we as people no longer stop to realize there is a world out there to look at, and cars besides our own little car, our own important job, our own plans, we've really lost our humanity.




Well, at least we rushed to do that.

Life over A cup of Coffee, Black (Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic Bolivian Blend)

A California Poppy

While sitting outside in beautiful Moorpark, not a cloud in the sky and a slight breeze from the east I watched a good friend get married.  At this stage in my life, every summer usually amounts to more than a few weddings I get to attend.

Weddings to me are an incredible event.  Having no experience as a sociologist I won't pretend to know much about them, save for what I have experienced.

To date I have been to weddings in a hall, outside, in a garden, at a hotel, a golf course, a horse track, and of course in a church.  Which got me thinking about other life events that are so huge and universal, and yet totally unique to the individual.  You have 17 year olds getting married, and 80 year old folks.  With kids, without kids, pregnant, maybe even dying.  There are people who want nothing more in the world then the "right" to get married, and people who think other people shouldn't get married.  Regardless of politics and religion, this is astounding.

The fact remains that practically without exception this is a universal tradition.  So, as my friend walked down the aisle I was  immediately transported to my wedding, and as much as I wish that day would never fade from the crystal clear memory I had of the moment, 3 children have a funny way of completely ransacking your ability to remember much of anything.  A brief list of best for me that day.

My wife and I loved our wedding

Best Advice - Just before you see your wife to be with her dad, take a deep breath, look all over the church and really take in the moment, the smells, the music, the faces in the crowd, really absorb it.

Best Connection with Guests - My wife and I were the eucharistic ministers for the mass, and as the majority of guests came for communion, I got to share a sacramental connection with each of them.

Best Kiss - The second one, after the priest said "you may now kiss the bride" and we kissed, we paused and my wife asked for another kiss, I love that memory.

One more

As I sat outside at the reception and I watched the throngs of children playing, it reminded me of my wedding and all the kids playing at our wedding.  I know there is much debate about yes or no on children at a wedding, who is invited and who isn't, but for my wife and I, and obviously my friends this past weekend, kids were a must.  In the end, the spirit and life children bring to any event is remarkable, but what better way to epitomize celebrating a marriage of people, families and the start of a new family then with children running all over and enjoying life.

As my sons were dancing and running around, my baby was being passed from friend to friend and my wife and I visited with old friends.  Probably the mix of alcohol, music and care free time, makes this environment perfect for visiting.  We talked about where life has led us all, how we were all doing and what was new.  What a remarkable event this is, life seemed to me to be actually more about going from wedding to wedding to wedding, and less about other events.  You start with your parents wedding, to yours, and your children's wedding, and grandchildren, and perhaps even
great-grandchildren.  All along the way catching up with friends at each friends wedding and even their children's wedding.

It seems appropriate that the melding of two families is universally seen as a most important milestone in the life of anyone.  As wonderful as my wedding has been, it is hard for me to think that others see marriage, a wedding; and this moment, day, and life-long journey together as, "Not a big deal."  With the exception of my kids being born I can't think of any other moment of my life that is even close to the shear awe I felt at my wedding.

So I sat and had my featured drink of the wedding, a "California Poppy," and let the whole event flow over me.  I felt lucky to have been invited to such a special time in my friends life.

Life over a "California Poppy" (Rum, Orange Banana Juice, Club Soda, simple syrup and to garnish, a mint leaf with a wedge of lime)

A Sippy Cup

Drew had a first the other day, and the fact that it took 3 1/2 before this revelation, impressed me.

The other night Drew was going to bed, and being the master negotiator he is, got out of bed and asked me for books and a toy. Any excuse to get out of bed, he takes, and this is just another one he uses. Since Cristina and I have no problem with him reading in bed, and taking a toy or two to sleep with him he knows is a "reasonable" request. I told him to go back to bed and I would bring him a book and a toy. He ran to his room and a moment later...Thud. Usually this isn't followed by anything. Drew falling out of his bed is not a very rare occurence and he usually just gets back in his bed.  Not this time.  Shrieks of pain are all I hear.

I run in the room, Drew is standing by his clock holding his mouth crying.  I throw his books on the bed, and pick him up taking him to the bathroom to get in the light and look at his mouth.

Blood.

His mouth was covered in blood, I couldn't even see his teeth.  Now I am getting worried, did he lose a tooth?  Chip one, is this emergency room time...I just need him to spit out the blood so I can see his teeth and make sure they are all where they are supposed to be.  I tell him to spit in the sink and Drew transforms into a boxer who just finished a nasty round, it is bright crimson and thick...uh oh I think to myself.  But even with the spitting I can't see his teeth.  I grab his water cup and ask him to take a sip.

Well he won't, he flatly refuses to take a sip of water from his cup; the reason is understandable too.  "No Daddy! I don't want red to get in it" he sobs.  This is when it dawns on me, this is the first time really that he has seen his own blood, and for that matter any blood.  I try two, three, four times to get him to drink water, and he only gets more panicked.  I realize I just need to calm him down first and then get him to drink.

I hug him, rub his back, give him kisses, and he is still crying.  Time to call in the big guns of comfort, the mama.  Cristina comes in and holds him and he calms down, I ask again if he will take a drink and he retorts, "No I don't want red to get in it."  I am stumped, I do need to see his teeth, but without him washing his mouth out with water I have bupkis.  And then it hits me, just work with his motivation.  So I run to the kitchen, grab a sippy cup and fill it with water.  I run back and explain to drew, here drink the water from this, the red won't get in, but the water gets out...he takes the sippy cup and starts drinking.  Victory, and his teeth are okay too.

Drew - You can see a slight bruise on his chin

My son is particular, but in all honesty aren't we all.  The difficulty at times is he isn't always able to articulate why he wants to do certain things, and being that I can't always figure it out, it can be frustrating.  Take for example when it is 40 degrees outside and he won't wear pants, and throws a fit if I try to force pants on him.  When I convince him to wear pants, he sometimes walks holding his pant legs up as if to turn his pants into shorts.  I know he isn't hot, because he will run to the car and beg to get inside cause it's "chilly."  It took almost a six months to have him tell us he can't see his shoes (they light up when he walks)

My dad once told me a story about my older brother Matt, when he was 2 or 3.  As my dad was dressing him, Matt kept crying and trying to take off his shoes.  It wasn't until he had tried for a while keeping his shoes on and putting them back on, when he finally decided to look inside the shoe and he saw the stuffing in the toes of the shoes.  Matt wasn't acting different or crazy or being difficult, it hurt.  Fast forward 34 or so years later and Sean is walking with a limp, this is not normal for him and he keeps trying to take off his shoes (this is normal), his way to say "I'm pissed Mom and Dad."  I keep stopping him as normal, and then decide maybe his foot hurts and take his shoes and socks off and check his feet, nope nothing out of the normal, finally I put his shoes back on.  Again he walks off with a limp.  I pick him up, take off the shoes and socks, nothing abnormal.  I am about to put the shoe back on, when Matt as a toddler pops into my head, I look inside the shoe that was on the foot he was limping with and sure enough stuffed, this time with dirty socks.  

Sometimes just telling my kids to do something, or making them, doesn't work.   If you figure out what is motivating them...maybe you won't need to even ask.

Life over a sippy cup of water.

A Margarita

I had a great friend fly in from out of town ask when I was free this week.  We went over our schedules, and tonight was the only "sure thing" we could bet on to see each other.  Now as life goes, dropping dinner plans with your wife and running out with an old friend is not hard to do, but not easy either.  Cristina and I tried to get a last minute sitter so she could come to an old favorite mexican place, but alas it was not meant to be.  So I went solo and met up with an old friend and an old high school acquaintance.

To sit, and have a nice margarita and just chat about where life is was nice.  At some point the conversation turned to friendship, and it was very relevant.  At a certain point we all agreed "hard" friendships, don't work anymore.  We all have friends who seem to make things more difficult than it needs to be, either we don't make time, don't call soon enough, or don't interact in the way that friend wants.  I do think there is a distinct difference in the sexes when it comes to this.

As a guy who has by and large mostly guy friends, we just don't seem to do this as a general rule.  My friends, regardless of location just seem to be very agreeable on meeting, but even this general rule has exceptions of a person or two who seems to require more time and attention on demand then anyone else, and like wise doesn't seem to care about where your life may be.

I commented on how kids changes this, and my good friend brought up a very relevant I think mature statement.  To paraphrase, in the end if you really need to talk to someone or meet up with someone, or just plain want to see someone you make it work, if your friend has kids and can't get away, you bring over take out and meet at there house.  Or meet them where there life is, and when the time comes hopefully they can do the same.

Obviously my friend doesn't mean life stages excuses people from equal participation, but means at some point you just make an effort and make it work if it is possible.  Some reason, some people don't get that.

To this day one of my favorite times with my brother was a business trip he had, I was on paternity leave from my old job and I was taking care of Drew for 6 weeks (full time).  Matt was in town only for a few days, and had about a 6 month old at home (in New York), Drew was all of 3 months or so at this point, but Matt could get together in the morning before he had a business meeting and was flying home.  I trudged in my car during rush hour and we had breakfast in his room and he got to see Drew, if I remember correctly for the first time.  We both made an effort, far from ideal, but it worked, and was great.

Matt with drew our breakfast get-together (May 1, 2007)

As a busy dad now I know I really appreciate the friends that make an effort to see us by hanging at our place, but in doing so I know my wife and I really try and go the extra mile for them when we can.  I guess that is just the saying, "It's easier to attract bees with honey than with vinegar."

By the end of our dinner tonight we had all agreed, we enjoyed the friends that make it easy to be friends, life doesn't need more work than it can already have.

Life over a Classic El Cholo Margarita on the rocks w/salt.

Life over a cup of lemonade

So I decided that the most americana thing I could do today, besides eat too much, was to make lemonade; sorry but apples aren't in season for some tasty pie.

I went into the front yard, used my "fruit picker," and went to town on the tree, in all I think I picked about 25 or so lemons.

Having never made lemonade before, and being how I don't "wing" anything cooking related I went to my trusty cookbook which has literally never led me stray.   I proceeded to quadruple the recipe, in effect making 30 cups of lemonade, or 240 ounces, just short of 4 gallons of Lemonade.

Drew was napping, and when he woke up, wanted nothing more than to help me in the kitchen and it really ended up making the whole event a blast.  Hand "juicing" 50 lemon halves is more than a bit of a chore, but the end result was totally worth it.

When all was said and done, we grilled up some Kielbasa and mushroom swiss burgers.  All the while sitting out front and watching the kids run around.

Today was fun, just a sorta lazy afternoon around the grill, my kids were maniacs, but the few moments of clarity when all was calm was awesome.

Too often I hear people say they can't wait till  (fill in the blank) and I catch myself sometimes saying that with raising young kids, and wishing they were older so I can do X..Y...or Z.  But today and when I  focus on being in the moment with my kids, I really loved it.

I know when these days are gone, and making lemonade with dad is lame, I'm gonna miss that the greatest thing ever was getting the "squeezer" to juice the lemons with me.



A brief photographic view of this entry.



Drew's interpretation of "He lives in me (Reprise)" from "The Lion King Musical" our evening entertainment.